he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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