she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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