I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
