Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
It's shark week go big or go home
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
