I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
try to milk me bitch
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