I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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