I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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