I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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