If i could tip my vagina, i would.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
