Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
