Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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