Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I lost the right to judge tonight
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
