If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
