Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
