i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
