i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
