I think my fart just growled at me.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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