Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
