I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
