i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I forget how to act sober
Randomize