I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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