I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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