Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
