Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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