yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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