she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
