Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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