happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
