hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
