How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
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