I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
