i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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