I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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