Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
