I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
