I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize