Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
he fucked my hip out of place.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
