You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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