It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
