Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
