ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
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