If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize