Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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