I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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