I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize