We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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