Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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