why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize