well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
