so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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