I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
