Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
