Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
