Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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