if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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