im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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