So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
