ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
