I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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