I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
