Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
