Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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