The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
