Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I cut my penus on the lid.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
